GIVING AWAY MY WHOLE SELF

I was taught to beg 

to martyr 

to throttle 

my own sick throat 

never gave me the 

answers I needed— 

I’ve been the cog 

in the machine 

which causes 

the gears 

to spark, 

to burst 

open as I forget, as I 

remember, and I forget 

my own life all over again 

I was told forever 

is a sacrilegious break 

in the manual 

You— Messiah of the forever, 

you should know my words 

are synonymous with the sounds 

which come together to choke any last of my screws out of you.