The Many Selves Within the Mind: To Cleave or To Cleave?
A noise behind me lassos itself to my ear. A distraction to the daily walk to my car. My ear is pulled back in the direction of the source, riding the soundwave to the word, Hey!
Not recognizing my face, the caller cuts the cord, Sor/ry/The back of your head/not yo/u/I/justhought/ne/ver/mind
A look at my face distorts the caller’s memo/memo/ry. Mistaken, tells me to ne/ver/se/ver the Hey I just heard. How do you put back a sound? How do you piece back a memory distorted?
A flashback spasms into the periphery: This time, we recognize each other. We are both college students. A friend recognizes my backpack. Hey! I knew it!/Hello!/It’s you!/It’s you too, hi!/How/are you?/Hhhhwho?/Who/are you?
Who is she? The one clinging onto her back/pack. My current self steps on the shadow of my past self, heavy footing. Oppressive. Must cleave the selves apart.
Can you repeat the word? Cleave/cl/leave/leave/leave
Can you use the word in a sentence: They watch the coot cleave the clear water.
Say that five times fast.
Hey! Stop interrupting!
The coot cleave the clear water
The coot cleave the clear
coot cleave the clear
coot cleave clear
cleave clear
Collapsing/collapse/on/overlap/top of each other. Oppressive. Must/cut/c/ut/sever/se/ver the mind a/part/se/ver/rr/Severance!
When an innie was first awoken, what were those questions again?
Hey! Yo/u’re do/ing it again/a/gain/glitch/ing/gl/itch/googling
Who are you?
Which state or territory were you born?
Please name any state or territory that comes to mind.
What is Mr. Egan’s favorite breakfast?
What is or was the color of your mother’s eyes?
Can you repeat the word? Cllll/ing/clllleeeave
Can you use the word in a sentence: Rose’s mouth was dry, her tongue cleaving to the roof of her mouth.
My mouth is dry. Where is my emotional support water bottle?
The mouth shapes sounds into words, clinging meaning to sound. Why does the same word have opposite meanings? How can a past self exist at the same time as the current self? She can’t.
She’s gone. The college student is dead. Your current body has eaten her. Your rolls have rolled over her, absorbing her, as if cleaving her, you’ve cleaved onto her.
Uncapping a water bottle, taking a sip, walking to the car, the body’s existence is confining.
That explains why my mouth remains open, demanding me to feed her.
Feed her, she wants to grow beyond her confinement.
Can you use the word in another sentence: The egg cleaves to form a mulberry-shaped cluster of cells.
I’m not sure what that means. Does that mean I’m pregnant yet?
Notes:
This poem quotes from the AppleTV+ television show, Severance. Definitions and sentence examples are from Google and Oxford Languages.